The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize