I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
