i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize