Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
