do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
