dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
