found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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