even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
do herpes really smell.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
