i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
handjob tips. give me some.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
