did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
