i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
