I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
There's always time for handjobs
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
my nose is crying tears of wow.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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