He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
