her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
