Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
