Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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