I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
