I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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