So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
