If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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