I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
