the day after is always just damage control
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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