Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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