I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
