You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Randomize
