if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Randomize
