We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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