I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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