I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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