i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
