We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize