They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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