dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
