sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
