i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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