I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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