Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
