I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
