Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
