I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
