it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
