I hate your face
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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