Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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