You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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