yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Come share oat with me in your robe
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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