So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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