Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
