If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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