We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize