Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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