a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
