I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
