We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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