I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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