my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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