Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
