Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
