Sponge bath it is.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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